The Deep Reservoir of Ok-Ness

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A Plan and The Dumbest Phonecall Ever

Whoever you are reading this right now, I have a proposition for you:

Let's make a baby. Right now.

No, really, hear me out.....

There is a group of people who live in my building who seem to have made some babies within the past two years. Now they don't have to go to work, and they get to stay at home all the time sitting outside being entertained by their many friends at all hours of the day and night while people are trying to sleep. PLUS they don't have to bathe ever and somehow found a way to get a cellphone plan that grants them unlimited walkie-talkie-yelling-into-the-phone-because-you-can't-be-bothered-to-hold-it-up-to-your-face minutes and a chirping sound which can pierce the deepest parts of their neighbors' brains. Also, I don't know why, but it's always the same guy there, but different portly women with him. I refer to them as "The Rotating Round-Girl Apartment." As for the children themselves, I imagine that they have developed super-human immunities to the germs and whatever else might get onto their toys when they are left outside in the muck near their patio overnight.

So, if you want to have plenty of leisure time and a very large number of friends, let's get started making a baby.

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I received the dumbest phonecall ever this afternoon. I came home from work early because I am leaving soon and there is nothing for me to do there except for move two boxes out of my office (I am pacing myself and leaving that for tomorrow). I called my voicemail at work to check my messages, and hung up when I heard that I had none. My phone immediately rang and, when I answered it and said hello, a computerized voice replied:

"Good-bye." And then it hung up. Yes, I received a call to say good-bye. That is dumb.

3 Comments:

  • At 1:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Perhaps they knew you were moving or, better yet, knew you were planning on going to Hell anyways and wanted to send you on your way with well-wishes...

     
  • At 3:41 PM, Blogger Rama said…

    I hate automated voicemail things... they never disconnect properly.

     
  • At 12:00 AM, Blogger Kate said…

    Perhaps Lionel Richie initially wrote, "I just called... to say... Good-bye..." and then rethought.

     

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