Thoughts On Clients

There are many things that I cannot share about my clients for reasons related to confidentiality, legality, not being fired, blah blah blah. But here are some things I CAN share, which I have noticed and had thoughts about:

1) A lot of people fear their emotions as being either destructive to others or else setting them up to risk being hurt by special people in their lives.

2) I went to a seminar this Saturday on Holistic Health Practices, which one of my clients also attended. During one discussion about Creativity in Health, one of the presenters posed the question "Does the rise in technology and the Internet pose a risk to human connectedness and creativity?" Having done research and reading on the Internet and relatedness, I consider myself to have something of an emerging expertise on the subject. So, I offered an answer. Apparently there was a woman there who thought that what I said was really fascinating and wanted to get to know the person who said it. However, out of the 40 other people in the room, this woman thought that my client (whom I was not sitting by, nor do I look anything like him) was the one who had spoken about it, and complimented him on "his" brilliant ideas! This goes against my strong belief that pretty women should come up to me and think that I am wonderfully interesting and then want to date me. My client did not take credit for what I said, nor did he use it to get to know the woman better. Still.....

3) There are people in this world who really want to change, but cannot seem to understand that "coping techniques" are not magical devices which will radically alter their emotions or experiences without effort on their part. Still, some people nonetheless reserve the right to think there is something wrong with what I am doing simply because they do not change just by wanting to.

4) I have an international student client who looks a lot like my friend Michelle. I have decided that my friend Michelle would be adorable if she had a French accent.

5) Some people believe that "sorry I missed my appointment last week, but I had other things I needed to do" is a real apology. Not that apologies are necessary from clients (although they are nice), but "other things are more important than meeting with you" is nonetheless NOT an apology.

6) Pornography addiction is a real thing which is just as harmful to relationships as other types of addictions. In some ways, it can be even more harmful!

7) Clients in Western Michigan get confused if you try to convey empathy by accidentally saying something like "Wow, it sounds like he made you feel wicked bad about yourself."

8) It is amazing how easily clients can talk intimately with a therapist about how hard it is to open up to people.

9) A client saying "I'm sorry I am coughing, but I haven't been feeling very well" does not help me at all when I get a sore throat two days later.

10) Some people are sad, others anxious, others angry, and still others stressed. But everyone is scared sometimes and sometimes feels weak inside. Therapy is not only about assisting people to be less sad, anxious, angry, or stressed; it is also about helping people to feel more secure in their ability to feel scared and weak.

That's all for now!