Keeping Up With the Leaches
So I noticed that it has been a really, really long time since I have blogged on here. What can I say, I got busy.... But then I noticed that it had been almost as long as since my friend Brad updated his blog, and that, my adoring anonymous Internet public, is unacceptable.
Now, having written that, I realize I should do something nice to make up for negatively comparing myself to Brad. So, I will honor him and his wife with beautiful rhymes, which they are welcome to use in a hip-hop joint.
First Alice, who used to be Riley before she got married. It is a shame she changed her last name, because her lyrics would have been pretty:
Her name is Alice Riley
And she's looking really smiley
Yeah, she's dancing really spryly
While she's dressing really flyly.
Now she cannot have her last name in a rhyme, as it was her husband's name she took. So, that leaves her with a less-beautiful set of lyrics based upon her first name:
You know her name is Alice
Her heart is full of malice
And her soul is really callous
She moved on down to Dallas
Living up in a palace
Drinking from a golden chalice
Granted, that rhyme is not entirely accurate (she doesn't really live in Dallas), but you get the point.
As for Brad, well, his rhyme may be the best thing ever conceived in the history of everything ever, and I would not be surprised at all if some rapper steals these lyrics and puts them on the radio as soon as I post this blog:
His name is Bradford Leach
For his vocation he likes to teach
For all his students' attention he does beseech
On vacation takes his family to the beach
On Sundays listens to the preacher preach
Keeps sharp things from his son on a high shelf out of reach
Washes his white clothes with some bleach
His favorite Dr. Seuss character is the Star-bellied Sneech
He likes Chong way better than his buddy Cheech
In large social group he often finds his niche
When hungry he eats a juicy peach
Word!
I am a lyrical gangsta.
(Yeah, and just TRY rhyming anything with MY first or last name! :) )
Now, having written that, I realize I should do something nice to make up for negatively comparing myself to Brad. So, I will honor him and his wife with beautiful rhymes, which they are welcome to use in a hip-hop joint.
First Alice, who used to be Riley before she got married. It is a shame she changed her last name, because her lyrics would have been pretty:
Her name is Alice Riley
And she's looking really smiley
Yeah, she's dancing really spryly
While she's dressing really flyly.
Now she cannot have her last name in a rhyme, as it was her husband's name she took. So, that leaves her with a less-beautiful set of lyrics based upon her first name:
You know her name is Alice
Her heart is full of malice
And her soul is really callous
She moved on down to Dallas
Living up in a palace
Drinking from a golden chalice
Granted, that rhyme is not entirely accurate (she doesn't really live in Dallas), but you get the point.
As for Brad, well, his rhyme may be the best thing ever conceived in the history of everything ever, and I would not be surprised at all if some rapper steals these lyrics and puts them on the radio as soon as I post this blog:
His name is Bradford Leach
For his vocation he likes to teach
For all his students' attention he does beseech
On vacation takes his family to the beach
On Sundays listens to the preacher preach
Keeps sharp things from his son on a high shelf out of reach
Washes his white clothes with some bleach
His favorite Dr. Seuss character is the Star-bellied Sneech
He likes Chong way better than his buddy Cheech
In large social group he often finds his niche
When hungry he eats a juicy peach
Word!
I am a lyrical gangsta.
(Yeah, and just TRY rhyming anything with MY first or last name! :) )
posted by CMA @ 7:57 PM
1 Comments:
At 9:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g....Thanks for clearing up that part about Dallas :).
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