My Girlfriend is a Pedophile

Intrigued? Read on....

I spent the Thanksgiving holiday week back home in New York, and I brought my girlfriend with me. Long drive, but we had a great time. Some of the highlights include:

-Someone at Thanksgiving dinner telling someone to put their mother into a homeless shelter (and that person not getting up and ruining Thanksgiving)

-Eating real pizza...not this Midwestern nonsense....the kind that can most accurately be described as "pipin' hot", and you have to fold to eat while grease drips onto and through the paper plate it was served on

-Showing my girlfriend around where I grew up, including my High School and a nearby city

-Taking my girlfriend out for her birthday to a nice restaurant, the first any boyfriend had ever taken her to

-Visiting with my friends Brad and Alice, eating tacos, playing fake guitars, and killing Chinese people

-Seeing my family (all 28 of whom descended upon my aunt's house, and still everything was perfect)

-Watching a compilation of old videos of my sister and I involving a movie we made (which she quit during the filming of), her gymnastics, my Uber-ADHHHHD (trust me, it needs that many H'es) dancing and behavior, a lovely poem about guinea pigs' birthday hats read by my sister in a paper bag mask, and Christmas in Massachusetts with my grandparents.

During the course of this trip, home movies and pictures were shared with my girlfriend. She described me as a child as being "really cute" and my 17 year-old longer hair, gawky frame, and lack of facial hair as being "very sexy." So yeah, apparently my girlfriend is a pedophile!

But probably only for me.....