Singing Mit Der Herrn

Ah, my weekend of song and driving.

Ever hear of a place called Findlay, Ohio? Yeah, me neither....actually, this was my first trip to Ohio beyond rest stops along the God-awfully long I-80 between here and New York (and I do mean 8.5 hours of the same road). Granted, not everyone experiences this road the same. In fact, my friend Michelle, who helped me move out here and drove my car to Michigan, usually does not recall ever having been through Ohio (she's not good with maps, and originally expected Michigan to be adjacent to New York). I think that she repressed the memory, as it was quite traumatic.

Anyhow, Findlay, Ohio....the site of the bi-decadial Great Lakes Male Chorus Association's Group Sing. This is really just a long way of saying that, every 4-5 years or so, 6 male choruses convene on the town of Findlay to sing to the people and wow them with our manliness. And, for those of you who recall, my particular manliness is quite wow-inspiring.

I drove three hours to get to the site. Then I sang for 45 minutes with all the assembled choruses, followed by a 2 hour break, followed by a 25 minute rehearsal of our specific chorus's two solo numbers, followed by more break before donning the ceremonial black coat and tie with shiny silver vest (please recall that I have sufficient manliness to permeate such garb) to sing in the concert.

Incidentally, have you ever noticed how old men sometimes smell a particular way? Try standing amidst about 250 of them packed together, wearing warm blazers under hot lights. Imagine my joy.

It was a good concert, and I was sad because it was my last with the KMC (I intend to move before next season). I said my good-byes and got a great big hug from the director who insisted that my presence had been a blessing (which was a great compliment!), and left to drive back to Kalamazoo.

iQue triste!

Hopes Not Should Being Too High

Yeah, I know the title to this entry is grammatically-incorrect. I'm almost-a-doctor, though, so I am still smart. Anyone else who tries to use poor grammar may not be able to say the same thing. Rock on for me! :)

So, a few weeks ago I got a call from Ithaca College, asking if I would be interested in a phone interview two days later. YES, yes I would, but slight problem....clients cannot exactly just stop being depressed for my interview time, and there was no time to really reschedule them. Fortunately, Ithaca's counseling center seems to understand and appreciate people who are responsive to clients' needs. Yeah, go figure, right?

Anyhow, I had the interview on March 31st (I remember this date because we went back and forth trying to find a time that worked for everyone on their selection committee). A half hour of answering questions from disembodied voices using a speakerphone. For those of you who have never had this experience, let me tell you that it is different from both sides of the line. I have interviewed prospective interns for my current site, and I know from personal experience there that interviewers (b/c I and my co-workers did it) can either be enthralled by what the person is saying, or they can be rolling their eyes and stifling laughter when an answer is absurd or the person will just not stop elaborating (this is especially the case when they are elaborating on something that is wrong to begin with!). As an interviewee, I not only had these images in my head, but also could not tell from their body language when they were satisfied with my answers.

And, of course, I thought of much better answers to their questions as soon as I hung up the phone.

I did not think the interview went very well. Not that it went badly, but I did not feel it was anything stellarly-impressively-"hey-let's-try-to-hire-this-guy-for-a-job"-illy great. Apparently, the interviewers disagreed, because they called me last week to invite me to come for an in-person interview at Ithaca College.

And did I mention that they liked me enough to pay for everything, including meals, flight, and hotel for two nights? Flight and hotel alone are about $800. They might also get me a rental car if they cannot pick me up and drop me off at the airport/hotel. This means that they really, REALLY must have liked me!

My itinerary will be that they fly me in and take me out to dinner with some of the college's big-wigs on the first day, then have me interview from 7:30am until 5:30pm the next day before flying out on the third day. Yes, 9 hours of interviewing on the second day. I worry that I do not have 9 hours of impressive-brilliance in me! Granted, some of it will be relaxing and eating, and I do have to do one hour of case presentation....but still!

This interview is not only about whether I am a good psychologist, but also about my personality and whether they would want me to work in their office for the next 15 years. People seem to like me, and I do know how to answer questions about myself and my professional work/interests, so I imagine I will be fine. Plus, meeting with different people throughout the day means that there will probably be a lot of repetition in what I say.

As for the fancy meal the night before, I am realizing that it will be like I am a single woman on a first date - I will have to make sure I don't order anything too expensive, too messy, or too plentiful that I cannot speak b/c my mouth is full. I also probably should not order that jug of wine or bet the waiter than I can't eat three lobsters.....

So, as the title to this entry might imply (smartly written poorly as it is), I am trying not to get my hopes up too high about this interview. Yes, I really REALLY want the job, but I don't want to look into the area or cost of living too much and make it so important to me that I risk being very let down if I don't get it. Also, getting too invested in the possibility of this job could cause me to make mistakes during the interview if I am too nervous or else too confident. I am trying to be more blase' about it all, while still maintaining enthusiasm.

But the job at Ithaca College is not just fantastic in its own right, but it is also WAY better than working at Shop-Rite! :)

Thoughts On Clients

There are many things that I cannot share about my clients for reasons related to confidentiality, legality, not being fired, blah blah blah. But here are some things I CAN share, which I have noticed and had thoughts about:

1) A lot of people fear their emotions as being either destructive to others or else setting them up to risk being hurt by special people in their lives.

2) I went to a seminar this Saturday on Holistic Health Practices, which one of my clients also attended. During one discussion about Creativity in Health, one of the presenters posed the question "Does the rise in technology and the Internet pose a risk to human connectedness and creativity?" Having done research and reading on the Internet and relatedness, I consider myself to have something of an emerging expertise on the subject. So, I offered an answer. Apparently there was a woman there who thought that what I said was really fascinating and wanted to get to know the person who said it. However, out of the 40 other people in the room, this woman thought that my client (whom I was not sitting by, nor do I look anything like him) was the one who had spoken about it, and complimented him on "his" brilliant ideas! This goes against my strong belief that pretty women should come up to me and think that I am wonderfully interesting and then want to date me. My client did not take credit for what I said, nor did he use it to get to know the woman better. Still.....

3) There are people in this world who really want to change, but cannot seem to understand that "coping techniques" are not magical devices which will radically alter their emotions or experiences without effort on their part. Still, some people nonetheless reserve the right to think there is something wrong with what I am doing simply because they do not change just by wanting to.

4) I have an international student client who looks a lot like my friend Michelle. I have decided that my friend Michelle would be adorable if she had a French accent.

5) Some people believe that "sorry I missed my appointment last week, but I had other things I needed to do" is a real apology. Not that apologies are necessary from clients (although they are nice), but "other things are more important than meeting with you" is nonetheless NOT an apology.

6) Pornography addiction is a real thing which is just as harmful to relationships as other types of addictions. In some ways, it can be even more harmful!

7) Clients in Western Michigan get confused if you try to convey empathy by accidentally saying something like "Wow, it sounds like he made you feel wicked bad about yourself."

8) It is amazing how easily clients can talk intimately with a therapist about how hard it is to open up to people.

9) A client saying "I'm sorry I am coughing, but I haven't been feeling very well" does not help me at all when I get a sore throat two days later.

10) Some people are sad, others anxious, others angry, and still others stressed. But everyone is scared sometimes and sometimes feels weak inside. Therapy is not only about assisting people to be less sad, anxious, angry, or stressed; it is also about helping people to feel more secure in their ability to feel scared and weak.

That's all for now!